Friday, August 2, 2019

Jack's Turkey

Jack heard from his friends that fresh, home-grown turkey was better than any store-bought frozen turkey he would ever find. He had a bit of land and decided that this year, he’d grow his own turkey. How hard could it be?

After some research, he bought a turkey chick about six months before Thanksgiving. He brought it home and showed it into its home. He was amazed how small it started, but he diligently fed and cared for his turkey and sure enough, right around Thanksgiving, the turkey was plenty big to butcher.

The problem was that Jack had fallen in love with that little turkey. He would check on it every time he left the house each morning. The turkey would wait patiently and was always excited when Jack came home. Jack just couldn’t bear to kill his new friend.

An idea struck him. This turkey didn’t look like those naked ones he’d cooked in all his past Thanksgiving meals, so he thought maybe he could pluck it first, then he’d be able to kill it. The turkey was not amused. Jack finally decided he’d have to put that turkey to sleep somehow, then pluck it. So he poured some ether on a cloth and held it over the turkey’s head. Soon enough, the turkey was out.

Jack started plucking away as fast as he could. He didn’t know how long the ether would last. It lasted longer that he expected! He was almost done and he was right, the bald turkey didn’t look like his friend. Jack could muster up the heart to kill this strange looking bird.

But then, as he plucked that last tail feather off the turkey, it woke up. Oh boy, did it wake up! That turkey was MAD! It started chasing Jack all around the kitchen. Those two made such a ruckus that neighbors from blocks away came to see what was going on. Finally, Jack and a couple of his friends got that turkey butchered.

At Thanksgiving dinner, Jack realized his friends were right. Home grown turkey tasted a whole lot better than frozen turkey. Jack just wasn’t sure if it was really that way, or if he was just extra satisfied eating the troublesome bird after all the embarrassment.

Either way, though, Jack quietly went back to buying frozen turkeys.

sock story.. Vaudeville style

fill this all in later